For the last seven years, I have been a huge proponent of sex work as a viable option for disabled people who want a sexual encounter. I believe that sex work is so important and so vital for disabled people and their sexual experiences. Sex work needs to be decriminalized and made a part of benefit systems so that disabled people can actually access it.
I have worked with my #1 sex worker for six years, and I couldn’t be happier about our friendship and working relationship. Even though we have a great relationship that I wouldn’t trade for anything, I am also very aware that as a disabled client of sex workers, there are a ton of emotions that come with that, and I want to talk about that a little bit.
One of the emotions that I have been feeling with regards to sex work and disability is that sometimes it can be the only option for me to access intimacy and that makes me so depressed. I would LOVE the opportunity to know what it would feel like to have a sexual encounter, and NOT have it be tied to a monetary transaction. If I’m honest, when those happen (and they are rare), I am dealing with their fear and ableism around the issue, and that can be more difficult than just paying the money.
Another emotion that I often contend with when it comes to sex work and disability is dealing with guys who are only in it for the money. That’s fine if they are, but sometimes that can be hard to hear as a disabled person whose body can’t conform to queerness.
I wish that sex work wasn’t the primary way that I access intimacy, even if I am happy that it is available to me. I just wanted to put those feelings somewhere.
Thanks for listening!